Comments on Kristin Craig Lai - Life coach for queer parents: I’ll take a catastrophic thought with a self-flage...

Hi Kristin, I've been reading through your bl...

2011-10-18T20:47:04.498-04:00

Hi Kristin,

I've been reading through your blog since your newest post (your sister posted the link on FB).

Amazing work. I think we're all dealing with gender, body, food, mental health, well ... everything ... issues in all sorts of different ways (no one I know is free of them, no matter how they identify). Your sincere writing from the heart helps SO much!

I can't leave until I offer this: http://gaps.me/preview/?page_id=20. This woman's work regarding many of these issues has helped me and my family.

Wishes for healing and happiness,

Sharon

Wesley, as far as drugs and alcohol I haven't ...

2011-08-12T23:35:33.795-04:00

Wesley, as far as drugs and alcohol I haven't ever used but I've had so many friends struggle with addictions. I've spent a lot of time talking about addiction with a very close friend who's a recovered alcoholic and I think that's what helped me to recognize the parallels between depression and addiction.

wow, this is a powerful post. While I don't kn...

2011-08-12T22:22:11.230-04:00

wow, this is a powerful post. While I don't know your past with respect to alcohol or drug issues, I can say that in many ways depression is very much like addiction (I am a recovered addict/alcoholic)and I don't think the idea of a sponsor is a bad one at all!
Have you ever read "Dark Nights of the Soul" by Thomas Moore? If you haven't I would recommend it highly. In it (as in many of his other books) he speaks of depression as a symptom of a loss of soul and how our current society contributes and amplifies this loss of soul. While certainly not a cure-all, this book has helped me immensely to put my depressions (I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder about 10 yrs ago) in perspective.

It's totally true. You start to see everything...

2011-07-31T14:28:29.067-04:00

It's totally true. You start to see everything in the context of being a "person with depression". It's a rabbit hole.

Another pitfall is that you can end up adopting th...

2011-07-31T14:11:27.108-04:00

Another pitfall is that you can end up adopting the depression (or other struggle) as a defining characteristic for your self. (I remember Daddy suggesting that I was getting depressed about being depressed, and unless I could step aside of this downward spiral it would just carry me down the drain.)

Cecily: It's funny because I always related pr...

2011-07-31T14:00:45.565-04:00

Cecily: It's funny because I always related pretty well with my friend who's a recovering alcoholic but I only clued into that connection a few days ago.

I love that. I'm not sure what movie would do ...

2011-07-31T13:57:37.865-04:00

I love that. I'm not sure what movie would do it for me. My first instinct is Tank Girl but I haven't got any cogent explanation of why yet. I also like to watch the video for "Raise Your Glass" (yes, I like Pink a fair bit).

what an incredibly self-aware realization, and as ...

2011-07-31T13:56:56.265-04:00

what an incredibly self-aware realization, and as an addict, I can totally see this. I know that I'm addicted to rage, in a way, because after I rage a bit I have a bit of a euphoric state afterwards. There's no doubt in my mind that you can get addicted to depression too.

Let me start by saying that I'm a visual think...

2011-07-31T13:35:03.741-04:00

Let me start by saying that I'm a visual thinker; specifically, I think in pictures, not words. My "go-to" song isn't a song, but a movie. I find that the movie "Aliens" is the perfect analogy of what it's like in my head during an episode.

In this movie, Ripley, the bad-ass female lead character, is a bad-ass female lead character WITH PTSD, like me. Despite it, she works through, she finds the personal strength to overcome. She is a bad-ass, a strong woman, and yet, she's got a mothering instinct, a child to protect. And that makes her stronger.

Everything about the movie is a perfect analogy for me. There is the corporate guy, who I see as being like that part of my brain that urges me to give into the temptation of my depression/anxiety/PTSD/Chronic pain, which is represented by the aliens. The characters that die are, mostly, representative of the parts of me and relationships I've lost over the years to my personal aliens.

The main thing is, those that survive to the end of the movie are the parts of myself I'm always able to pull through every episode of myself at my lowest. Being able to see this struggle visually makes the internal struggle that much more tangible, and that much more resolvable, therefore, in my visual-thinker brain.